15. birthing pains

when you enter into another person’s realm, you cross into another aspect of reality that is just as true as your own.

because we all have the same eyes, but are given a different picture to translate.

so the only duty you have is to walk in and gather what you need for the next realm, and leave behind what you need no more.

because what you leave behind is probably something needed in that realm. and what you take is needed in the next. knowing what you need and need no more prior to entering is wisdom and can make the process less abrasive.

however in any case, suffering of some form will take place.

because that is life.

and to disallow yourself to receive and embrace pain, is to disengage in your own spiritual evolution ... and thus your life-path development. to do so is to

bury yourself before you’re even born.


if a mother could not accept the pain of birth for your existence ...

14. carpe diem

you just have to let life unfold the way it’s going to anyways ... you can resist your path but Mother God is going to just spit you right back out where you need to be. The only way out of you're destiny is to willfully give up in defeat.

So, keep on keeping on.

And sometimes truth is harsh and you have hear it in a way that you don’t necessarily like ... some people are hard headed though. i didn’t learn much by listening to anyone, i just had to go through shit the hard way because i made that choice. darker, but deeply engraved lessons.

That’s where “i pray the devil doesn’t follow u, some pray they never have to swallow truth” comes from ...

we’re all rebels. we’re born to evolve ; in spirit ... and the only way you get better at life is by controlling yourself ... and the only way can have command over yourself is to face everything you don’t want to.

Because that’s how you begin to see nothing is out of reach.

And everything holding you back is part of yourself and nothing outside of you. and blaming outside forces you make your reality full of scapegoats and are blind to its beauty. Suffering is part of existence on every level. Everyone dies. Everyone loses what they love.

... but that’s not a reason to avoid that reality and self-sabotage your path. Life is about experience ... and experience is impartial to your feelings because you're supposed to feel. you're supposed to embrace every facet of yourself even the dark and ugly. Because life is order and chaos.

Destruction and Rebirth.

that is evolution. and truth is only found by living out every part & seeing with every eye. limiting yourself to your fears and doubts isn’t living.

“that’s some half-assed shit.” i tell myself.

that’s a half life.


13. left hand, right hand

the materials a person collects is and never has been a reflection of their character or a guarantee in longevity ...

even a tyrant can have a tower of gold ...

that is not power though. 
that does not mean they will give your water when you are thirsty.
that does not mean they wash their hands.
that does not mean they are even wise.

the weakness of material wealth is the fear of loss. 
the more one has the more one will lose .. and loss will come in every case.
and it is that fear is what breeds greed
and why greed is
equivalent to powerlessness.

on the other end there are men and woman with nothing
who are rich in life
and whatever they plant will grow to the heavens. 
they can laugh and breathe and give and receive love in abundance. 
& as the French say : l'habit ne fe pas le moine.

so then, there are those who invest in material debt.
and those who invest in liberation and life.

that is a decision.

12. bury your gavel

every villain is chased by their own shadow

& sleeps in fear.

what is called “justice” has been misconstrued for they have taught men that it is in the hands of men to serve it ...

but it is and always has been Higher Power that will take its bounty.

man’s concept of time is a convenient irrelevance.

11. intent

whatever any one speaks or does isn’t as important as the true intent behind it ...

not what you THINK your intent is but what vibration and frequency is coming from your heart when you put forth your energy into the world.

note that Higher Power doesn’t speak in such simple and base tongue as the English language or any for that matter so you ain’t outsmarting or convincing Source with some falsity.

whatever your intent is ...
it can’t be hidden

and the ripples your actions create will come back around the same way.

you reap what you sow and only YOU are accountable for what manifest into your life whether that be from an

undying resent & bitterness

or unconditional love & empathy.

10. i'll build a raft

i think beaches are such a tease because unless you have a boat you just have to stop and keep looking ... i mean you can swim but you won’t make it that far without drowning or getting eaten by a sea creature.

i don’t want to sit on the shore and keep looking at the distance ... I’d rather move towards the horizon even if theres nothing there ... just to be moving. I’ll build a fucking raft. 
maybe I’d just find what Jim Carey found when he was in The Truman Show lol
in comparison mountains are ideal bc they give me an objective and that is to get to see what things look like from the summit while also taking the challenge.

woods and forests have their place too in that they speak as you move through them and force you to find yourself by moving with intuition.

in any case i prefer nature over concrete and steel any day though it is amusing to sit on rooftops and people watch with a soundtrack ... i feel like we all walked into well played mouse trap.

i thought about jumping but i have more places go before i fly for the first time and never feel like touching ground again

9. over & over

isn’t that how it all is anyways .. forget ourselves, become something else, lose our self, come back to ourselves ...
over & over.
become everything you knew you weren’t
just to look at your reflection and not know who was staring back ..
it happens. c’est la vie. we’ve all been tainted by some madness and it’s just best to admit it to yourself, for it’s not in the responsibility of anyone else, and rinse it off.
it might take some time depending on how far down you went. it might take more effort ... but you’ll fight if it’s really worth it.
or you’ll spend your life running from your self ... that kinda defeats the purpose of life tho doesn’t it?
or maybe it’s the other way - because isn’t truly finding yourself enlightenment? 
and you know what happens to those enlighten folks they just disappear one day without any notice ... well shit, maybe the trap is the game so we just gotta keep playin’.

7. mere curtains

just remember, 
people only know the part of you that you show them ... i don’t mean your past or what you did or do ...
i mean your outward “public” self.

but you are a closed curtain & something else
when no one is watching ... maybe. 
unless you are a true and raw human being who can acknowledge their own misdeeds while still attempting,

at the least ... to be noble.

doesn’t it remind you of that French proverb? “l'habit ne fait pas le moine” - the clothes do not make the monk.

what makes the monk is the fact that you can hit him 1000 times and he won’t feel it,

and if they don’t believe it all he has to do is say - “Try me.” so then, a monk - if he is truly a monk - can wear the clothes of a prisoner and do the same thing.

6. a biscuit

if you throw a biscuit over a dogs head he’ll follow it with his eyes and then his feet in bountiful glee.

he’ll either devour it or run back with it in his sloppy mouth to put it back into your hand.

; on the other note,

if you throw a biscuit over a cat's head he’ll look at you like a dunce and walk in the opposite direction.

then he’ll go outside and catch a python.

5. dare to

but the worst thing that can possibly happen if you do the thing you always dared to is that you fail ...
or lose.
but what does that mean?
even if you win or succeed what does that mean? 
you cannot stay there ... you’ll have to move on either way. 
i think the thrill is in the dare itself ; which is why you have to think of something worth chasing ... long term. 
isn’t that what a cat would do? 
i think they just like running and if they end up with food in their mouth well ... good for them. 
they can be merry in their catch.
eventually it will be gone and they’ll have to run the chase again. 
and if they lose.
they have to run the chase again.
they’ll survive.

i never did see a starving cheetah that wasn’t in chains. 
so isn’t the worst thing you could do to yourself ... not even chain smoking could spar with ... isn’t the worst thing to see it and not go for it? 
for what? Fear? 
of what? 
having to get back up? 

3. in the woods ...

i like going to the woods before i start my day [ if in another place i’d rather a lake or shore ] so i can center my emotion and my thoughts in unison and i’m not swayed by too much thought or too much passion. self-reflection precedes self-direction and either extremity has it’s brief moments of necessity. In the first maybe one must solve a logical life problem at short notice, in the later maybe one needs to perform a song and draw into that emotion. Either state is real but also an exaggeration. Truly, without constant stimuli or instigation one would be at peace ... which is at the center of emotion and intellect.

living in any city is like ... everyone talking at the same time. this is just stated in all actuality, acknowledging the fact that at any moment someone or some event or purpose may call for [ even attempt to demand ] your attention, your time, your energy ... naturally you only have so much so it’s important to be able to decide how much you can give and to what cause. clarity in the morning, the moment i wake up helps me make the best choices in that matter. the inner voice matters much. When it tells me to mind myself and don’t lose my peace ... that is the first thing i honor. you cannot give up your peace for anything ... and by peace it doesn’t imply anything external or mundane but more so your mental state of well-being. because without your inner well being nothing you do will be of the right intent or energy and you will either be moved too much by over-thought or too deep in the lake of your emotion. to me that is what loving yourself calls for. love is an action - a verb, but it doesn’t push ... it pulls back. 

1. one day i will walk back into ...

one day i will walk back into 

the womb of nature with nothing in my hands. 

the part of me that daydreams on this final 

chapter is restless but the horse 

must be tamed. 


the days that lie ahead take sacrifice, 

and that doesn’t always mean 

giving something away, 

or letting something go ... 


that’s the easy stuff

once you figure out what keeps you

waking up for more life.


but sometimes it means stepping away from 

the door you have always long to find and 

rolling your sleeves

one more time.